If a gang of boys try to crash a party, are you prepared to handle the situation? Do you know how to get help if they come looking for trouble? Many of the incidents that happen at parties can be avoided if each young adult takes responsibility for seeing that things run smoothly.
If you find that you can’t help keep the party under control, the next best thing is to leave. If people are drinking too much and you’re not enjoying yourself, simply explain to your hostess that you had better be running along. No one has much fun at a party that has gone out of bounds. After you have left such a party, reflect on it a while. Maybe you can prevent it from happening next time—especially at your party!
Saying “No” does not have to be difficult if you follow some simple principles. First, be sure in your own mind how you feel. If you’re hesitant yourself, it’s much harder to convince others. Try to make up your own mind firmly before you say anything. Second, be tactful in saying “No.” Try not to condemn others when you have to refuse. Saying “No” in a courteous, tactful manner expresses subtly how you feel about the activity, without making the others think you dislike them as persons. The most effective way to do this is with humor. If asked to go gambling, you might say “Gambling?—I need my shirt!” Letting the others know you are not interested helps in avoiding unfortunate situations later. Doing it tactfully prevents hard feelings.
Perhaps the most important thing to consider when saying “No” is to offer alternative suggestions. If you follow up each “No” with a more attractive possibility, you may find it easier, both for yourself and others. One girl carries a package of mints in her purse. When offered a cigarette she says, “No thanks, would you like a mint?” In this manner without making an issue about the cigarette, she refuses politely and changes the subject.
Saying “No” need not be too much of a problem. When you yourself have definitely decided, you refuse the invitation in a tactful way and offer alternative suggestions that free you for more congenial activities.
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