Dating - Eye Contact

Fundamental courtship is given by flirting techniques. At the very basis, flirting occurs in non-verbal terms. However, there are people who seem at a loss when it comes to flirting without words. They simply exaggerate with certain approaches; these are approaches that will scare away your potential partner, rather than drawing him/her closer to you.

The most important non-verbal flirting technique is given by eye contact. Even if we are unaware of this, our eyes are one of the most go-getting, aggressive mechanisms bearing decisive communication foretokens. The way you look into another person’s eyes, the way you have your look shy away from another one’s approach or the manner you welcome/reject another one’s glance can provide more than sufficient data about you and create the basis for what’s going to be either a highly rewarding or an incredibly futile toying around.

Think about this: how long do you usually look into another person’s eyes? Did you know that as little as 10 seconds of unobstructed, direct eye contact is considered a prolonged one? What’s to say of more time spent looking into each other’s eyes? Pay attention: longer time intervals of eye contact are seen as a sign of intimacy and intense feeling or responsiveness. So it shouldn’t take too long for a skilled eye flirter to catch a potential date’s eye. At the bar or across a room, you should try to hold the other person’s look for more than one second. This is a clear sign something has literally caught your eye about him/her. If you manage to establish eye contact for more than one second it is highly probable you have also stimulated interest from the other person.

If the other person seems not to have noticed your gaze, it is probable he/she is not interested in you. However, there are cases when people shy away from such occasional looks, especially in the case of those who are rather timid. If you take just a few minutes to “study” your “objective”, you could conclude from the way he/she interacts with other persons in the room on whether he/she is too shy. In the case your guess is confirmed, you are free to attempt eye contact once again. On the other hand, if the person doesn’t seem shy at all, chance is he/she is really not interested in you. If you are the perseverant type, you could try it once more, but be careful: a second rejection could disappoint you.

When you manage to establish firm eye contact, you should come closer to the other person. You will need to briefly meet your yes for a second time, after which you can relaxingly engage in conversation. Your eyes will interact now, as the conversation develops. When you finish what you have to say, look again into the other person’s eyes to indicate that you wait for him/her to say something. When you listen to what the other says, try to keep your eyes on his/her face: it will show interest in his/her words. You are free to move your look away when you talk; a quick eye contact will signal the other you are inviting him/her to talk. In the end, eye flirting is communication carried at levels more significant than words.