She thinks that he just losed interest in her. She thinks he does not respect her inner needs. And she stops trusting him. Here are some phrases that can irritate the man.
„ Why do you want to buy it? You have one already!”
„ These dishes are still wet. They will dryed on spots.”
„ Hey! There is parking place. Turn back the car!”
„ You want to spend your free time with friends. What abaut me? What I have to do in the meantime?”
„You must not work so really. Get yourselve a day off.”
„ Do not put this here. You will lose it.”
„ You have to send for a plumber. He knows what to do.”
„ There is chaos in your study. When will you tidy up it?”
„ You are driving too fast. Slow down.”
„ I did not know where were you!” If the woman realizes, that the man rejects the way she treats him not her needs, she will take his rejection and she will talk about her need in a different way.
Men and Women rarely want to say one and the same things, even when they use the same words. For example, when a woman say: „ I have the feeling that you do not listen to me, never”, she dose not accept, that the word „ never”will be take word for word. She uses it to exspress her confusion, and it should not take like actual information. To exspress their feelings, women use different superlatives, metaphors and generalizations. Men wrongly perceives this expressions.
To understand correctly a woman when she speaks about her feelings, it is one of the biggest provocations for men. To understand correctly a man when he does not speak, it is one of the biggest provocations for women. Often women wrongly understand the silence. Very often the men stops talking and become silent. Do you know that men and women process the information in a different way? Women think aloud. They share their feelings. This process helps them to absorbed in their intuition. It is completely normal, and sometimes – necessary. Men think about that they were heard first. They implicitly reach to the most correct answer. They formulate it first, and then express it. This process can take them minutes or hours. And it confuses women.
The woman wrongly understands the silence of the man. Depending on her feelings she can start thinking of the worst: „ He hates me, he does not love me, he will leave me.” When a man is silent, for a woman is easy to imagine the worst. Why? Because she keeps silent when she has to say something that will hurt someone’s feeling. When two women talk about something, they instinctively keep up the conversation with exclamations like: „O – o – o”, „ Aha...” or „Hm...” The silence of the man can be very threatening without these encouraging exclamations. And men, and women must stop offering the support that they need. They have to start studing of about their diferent thoughts, feelings and reaction.
Men become silent by different reasons.
He has need to think about some problems.
He has not an answer.
He is oppressed with anxiety. In such cases he needs to be alone to calms down.
He has to find himself. This is a very important reason when men are in love. They start losing their nature in some moments, and they can feel that the intimacy can take their power. They have to regulate their emotions.
Women talk by many different reasons. Sometimes women talk by the same reason because of men are silent. For example, they talk because:
To give or get an information.
To examine and discover what exactly they want to say.
To feel better and more concentrated when they are oppressed.
To create an intimacy. When she share her feelings she is abble to get to know her loving nature.
Women have to realize, and it is important, that they should not try to make a man to speak before he will be ready for that. Men really and truly have need to stay alone when they are disorganized. Women may mislead not only when they unconsciously disturb men privacy, she wrongly understand his words, too. When a man wants to be alone, and a woman asks him: „ What is wrong?”, he will tell her: „ It is all right.”, or „ Everything is fine.” Usually these short signals are the only way for a woman to understands that a man needs to be alone. Instead of saying: „ I am in depression. I have to be alone for a while.” He just keeps silence.
When the man says: „ I am fine”, that what he really says is: „I am fine, because I can cope with everything, alone. I do not need of help. You can help me when you do not worry about me. I can take care of everything, alone. Thank you.”
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