Trust your feelings and intuition
If you feel uneasy about someone you've met online, err on the side of caution. It's probably better to miss a few good experiences than to have one bad one.
Request a photo |
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A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove helpful in
achieving a gut feeling about your correspondent. In fact, it's best to view several images of this person in a variety of settings: casual, formal, indoor, outdoors. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it may be because that person has something to hide. Getting a photo scanned is not expensive, so there is little excuse for not doing it.
Start slow
While dating over the net, watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by first communicating solely via email. Be on the lookout for odd behavior or inconsistencies. "Listen" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
Be Anonymous When Emailing
When you set up your Internet dating profile, matchmaking web sites will give you an account that allows you to stay anonymous. Avoid using anything that could identify you when you select your username or email address. Set up an email account that is fun and anonymous. For example, if you have an email with your name in it, then do not use this account for online dating. Just figure out any kind of fictitious name or "handle." If you'd like, you can use an email address that reveals something about yourself such as a hobby or personal trivia.
SMART Phone Contact
After several safe email exchanges, you can cautiously move to the next Internet courtship level. Arrange time to speak on the phone and see if the conversation flows or is a struggle.Because you are still dealing with a virtual stranger, you should use safety guidelines for connecting on the phone. First, if you are a woman, ask for the guy's phone number and use Caller ID blocking when you call him so that your phone number is not revealed. You can even use Caller ID blocking on most cell phones so always try using *67 when placing first calls.If you get to the point where you are comfortable giving out your phone number, use a cell phone or alternate number to your home phone. If someone is really creepy and has your home or work phone number, they can search for your address online using whitepages.com.Trust your gut instincts when you talk to someone on the phone. If someone makes you feel the least bit uneasy or puts you off in any way, just say Next. It won't get better if you meet in person. Remember there are plenty of other candidates out there. Next….
Be careful meeting people
The first time you meet someone in person, take a friend along or meet and stay in public places. Be sure that someone knows where you're going and when to expect you back. If you have a cellular phone, take it along, and have a friend call periodically. You may wish to take along some form of personal protection just in case. If someone tries to get you into a situation you are not comfortable with, don't hesitate refuse, leave, or do whatever is necessary to protect yourself. Nothing that anyone else does can obligate you to comprimise your own safety.
You always have the right to say "no"
It is never mandatory to reply to an email that makes you feel uncomfortable, or to agree to exchange phone numbers or meet someone for a date. You should never feel pressured to do
anything you aren't ready for. If someone is pressuring you, please feel free to say "no," or to stop communicating with this person.
Meeting face to face
* After you have emailed one another, and talked on the phone a few times, it's time to meet face to face. If people are happy to communicate with you online but don't want to use the phone or meet you in person, this might be due to the fact that they have misrepresented themselves. Real, honest people that seek love and partnership don't want never-ending virtual courtship; they want the real thing.
* Only meet in a public place for the first date, and preferably, set up a time limit for the date. For example, you can say you only have half an hour before a business appointment; this will help if the date does not go as you hoped for. A 'coffee date' is a safe bet. If you are a woman, never go to unknown places; instead, suggest your own variant of a place for the meeting, where service personnel knows you, at least visually. If a man is decent, he will honor your request.
* Tell someone that you have a date with a person you have met online; it can be your mother or a sibling, a person, who will not judge you. If you don't feel like telling anyone, make a note about the person you are meeting and how you got to know him/her, and place it where this information can be found.
* Have your own transport to get home from the place of the meeting; better still, have a friend to fetch you. Never allow your date to take you home, even if something is wrong with your car. Phone a friend or call a taxi instead. Make sure you are not followed when leaving the place of the meeting - especially if no one has shown up.
* When you meet your date, don't jump to conclusions straight away. You might unintentionally
create an image in your mind, which is different from the real person; this is not their fault; give them a chance. It's quite common to feel awkward at first; simply relax and try not to concentrate on the outcome: doesn't matter if they like you or not, you are still enjoying the date. If you need to concentrate on something, concentrate on having fun! If this helps, remember that they are also nervous and they can only hope you will like them.
* Smile! Nothing helps to break the ice better than friendliness and openness. Talk about something that you have shared in your last emails, so that they feel you are indeed the same person they have been talking to for a while.
* But still, use caution. Have your mobile phone with you. Don't leave your drink unattended. If you have to leave the table, order a fresh drink on your return.
* Pay for yourself. If you decided to never meet this person again, do not tell them about it on the date. Tell about it in an email. If the person asks how the date was, tell them: 'Great! I will email you tonight'. It's not easy to face rejection, so make it as polite and nice, as you can.
Happy dating!
